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How to beat the dark days...

Occasionally I have what I call my dark days, which are the days when I wake and just don't feel myself. Do you get them to? I mean this motherhood malarkey is rather hard some weeks isn't it, and I think the stress just creeps up on me. But I always try to keep soldiering on so here are my top 5 tips that help me get through those dark days. Hope they help you to.

Labour & Birth Story...Phoebe

My beautiful little girl Phoebe entered the world on 22nd June 2016, and ever since it's been quite a roller coaster of emotions for me. From sheer panic because I had absolutely no clue what I was actually supposed to be I'm sure all new mummies probably felt the same, to utter joy when she took her first steps, said her first word, and called me mummy for the first time. Motherhood is by far the best job I've ever had. It comes with highs and lows which I'll continue to share. But let's go back a bit and start with my labour & birth story...

June 22nd 2016

I actually think my labour officially started the night before I had Phoebe, because I couldn't sleep at all and just felt so frigidity and odd. Okay so odd doesn't really explain much but, I just felt like something wasn't as it had been before. Also through out my pregnancy I'd always said, that I had a feeling the baby would come early, and her due date was actually 1st July, so I was correct!

The next morning at around 9am when I sort of wet myself in bed and again at 11am, I thought it could be the day... TMI ;)

It's funny though I was massively in denial at that point, I even sent Anthony out to get us some lunch. While he was out I thought it was best to phone triage. The lovely lady I spoke to said that it sounded like my waters could have broken and that I should pop down to get checked.

But I had other ideas, and the denial had really kicked in by now, so I'd started sorting out washing, and cleaning my house. lol ...and I've since found out from friends, that apparently I was nesting. 
While Anthony was out the contractions started. The best way to describe my contractions is that, it felt like someone was slowly pulling up on my back from the insides. Okay so again that's probably not a great description but, I literally felt like I was going to die... lol okay so massive over exaggeration now but gosh were they painful. They were quite spread out at first, about one every half hour or so. Then it was every few minutes.

Luckily by this stage Anthony had loaded the car with all the hospital bags, and was telling me it was time we headed to the hospital. I was so scared though, that I kept telling him I was fine and that we could leave later. Eventually I gave in and got in the car. On the way to the hospital the contractions were soo painful that I had to get Anthony to pull over twice so I could ride the contractions out. But then they were sort of coming in waves. And the pain would slowly rise to a point where it felt soo unbearable, that I had to stay as still as I could, just to get through it. Anthony said that he wouldn't be able to keep stopping as, one it was dangerous and two we were not having the baby in the car. lol

For the rest of the journey I sat there with my eyes shut, doing panicky breathing and hoping that we'd get there super quick. It took around half an hour to arrive at the hospital, and by this time I was in agony. I clearly don't have a high pain threshold! Luckily triage saw us straight away and I got checked and was 4cm dilated.

So it was time...

Phoebe was on her way...

I'd decided almost as soon as I found out I was pregnant, that I wanted to have a water birth and luckily that's exactly what is was able to have, when the time came. We were ushered into our birthing room by two lovely midwives. Sharon and Lisa. Lisa was the trainee and Sharon was the head midwife. Sharon let Lisa do most of the looking after me, which I didn't mind at all as she was absolutely lovely.
Once the bath was run and I got in, things happened pretty quickly. It felt like one minute I was pulling Anthony's arms off, holding onto him while I went through the contractions, then the next Phoebe was here. My labour took about four hours in total, from the first contraction to having Phoebe placed in my arms.

Here's how it went...

After a few contractions I started having the feeling I wanted to have a poo. At first I felt embarrassed so didn't say anything to the midwives. But when it literally felt like I was actually going to poo, I told them and I'm bloody glad I did as two seconds later (well about two seconds lol) Phoebe's head was born.

The midwives actually couldn't believe how quickly her head was born and with the next push Phoebe was here. The moment she was placed in my arms was so amazing and like nothing I've ever experienced before, if I could have that feeling always, I'd never have a dark down day again.

As I said before the moment I held her in my arms was so amazing, and is something I'll never forget. It was and always will be the most magical moment ever. I actually said "oh wow, she's so amazing" as she was placed in my arms which the midwives and Anthony chuckled about. 

They told me after that for my first baby, everything happened very quickly. So I bet you're wondering if I had any pain control, through out my labour?

Well I'd decided that I didn't want to have an epidural unless I really needed one, as I'm quite a scaredy cat where needles are concerned. Thankfully I didn't need one and only had a few puffs on the gas and air in the last 30 minutes of my labour. The worst thing for me during the labour (apart from the pain of the contractions) was that, with every contraction I had to try and breathe through them, but I found it so hard to actually remember how to breathe. I know that's sounds so stupid, but I kept having to ask Anthony to remind me to breathe in and out. I think I may have been having a panic attack.
I'm quite a panicky person at times and going through the labour, definitely made me the most panicky I've ever been. Throughout the pregnancy and especially the labour, Anthony was so amazing. He put up with so much, from my sicking on myself in the bath while pregnant one night, to me almost breaking his arms going through my contractions during labour. I really don't think I could have managed with out him.

I feel so blessed and lucky to have my amazing little family.

After the birth I had a retained placenta, which meant I had to have an operation to remove it. But because of the operation I had to spend my first night with Phoebe in the hospital by ourselves. I felt soo bad for Anthony as I think he really wanted to stay all night too. But I actually really enjoyed having her to myself all night.

The day after I was discharged and we took our lovely daughter home and begun parenthood.


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